헐! Now it's all online? Better start sewing that flag...

Because of COVID, a lot of great instructors that teach face-to-face and take assignments on paper were forced to suddenly switch to online over the course of two weeks.  And then a lot of schools just gave up and went pass/fail.

Imagine you’re a teacher. Imagine one day you’re told you have two weeks to translate all of your courses into Korean.  Some folks would be great at it (those who were fluent in Korean), most would be writing gibberish using Google Translate or copy/pasting modules from Korean websites, and some people would have nervous breakdowns and quit.

That’s basically what happened. Except it wasn’t into Korean, it was into “computer”. A surprising number of people don’t speak computer. At least I was surprised how many.

I’ve had several people recently tell me that I should do such or such at the college this summer and fall because I am. “internet savvy". I realize this is most likely false praise meant to get me to do jobs no one else wants to do. One colleague told me that I was on the vanguard of online teaching.

Vanguard… hm…. like in the Space Federation I guess. I don’t so much feel like I am a brave banner carrier running at the front of a charging mechanized brigade as I feel like that poor schmuck who ended up getting shoved to the front because he liked to sew and brought his craft flag project with him to the fight.

The Spring semester is over (thank you, passage of time) and I was able to help out a few people worse off than me and barely able to switch over my own work. Now I’m looking at the summer and fall being 100% online.

I took a year of “How to teach online” courses online through the U of Illinois (I’ll save you time: be organized, learn your LMS, be accessible and don’t break copyright law). I like making youtube videos because of the global audience (I had a user from Norway last week!). I’ve also been primarily communicating through computers with the rest of the world since I became disabled in 2002. And I’ve had hands-on experience with computers since 1979. Not really cutting edge. And I’m pretty sure that in the 21st century “Intel Inside” means tiny magical fairies are in my laptop because 0s and 1s can’t possibly render my animations that fast.

Anyway, for the fall the people with online experience will have a definite advantage over those who work paper and pencil. It’s a little unfair, I think, to laud older teachers with internet talent on par with my 12-year-old niece and to denigrate the instructors that were concentrating on their students and not updating their home computers. But it is what it is. I hope we go back to face-to-face in Spring so we don’t lose those (often older) adjuncts.

Off-topic, Oakton did something classy most other schools didn’t, which was to offer students FULL REFUNDS if they dropped because of COVID. I was taking two courses myself but I felt so bad for the school I didn’t take the refund. My ceramics instructor gave us great lectures on history of pottery and students even pitched in giving lectures on topics of interest. I mean, there was no actual playing with clay but I feel I got some good content for the dollar. I was auditing a colleague’s path course and he put all his lectures online that I’m listening to while I work on my craft project of the week.

Regardless, I’m setting up my two summer courses right now… if I can get them together I’ll use my 1337 skillz to make them interesting and maybe even gamify those suckers. I’m gonna vanguard that sh-t, b-tches! DERP DERP DERP.

Well back to sewing that flag. It will say something like, “Oakton Online Pharm!” (in Korean?),”짱 Pharm, B*tches!” or “Pharm! It’s good for you!”

Today I Learned that Adobe Photoshop has a half-dozen fonts into which I can copy-paste Korean characters from Google Translate!

Today I Learned that Adobe Photoshop has a half-dozen fonts into which I can copy-paste Korean characters from Google Translate!

Disclaimer: I do not know how to speak Korean beyond what I know by rote from listening to K-Pop.

Hopefully I have not mistyped, “My hovercraft is full of eels.”


Norwegian Word of the Day

Koreansk popmusikk Translation: Korean Pop Music

Use in a sentence: I sing along with my K-Pop music if I am alone; I love EXO!

Jeg synger sammen med K-Pop-musikken min hvis jeg er alene. Jeg elsker EXO!

Peanut the Mighty RIP May 5, 2018 - May 11, 2020

Let it be known throughout the lands that the Peanut the Mighty, last of his tribe, has passed over the Rainbow Bridge. He rides with the Valkyries to Rathalla to join his brothers Michigan, Willis, Petey, Tiktok and his lost sisters and parents. There they will have freedom from fear and pain, never ending toys and bedding, and all the treats they will ever desire.

My brothers and my sisters:
Lo! There do I see the line of my
People back to the beginning.
Lo! They do call me.
They bid me take my place
Among them in the Halls of Rathalla
Where the predators and rat catchers are vanquished
Where the mischief shall live forever
Eating treats and cuddling.
Nor shall we mourn but rejoice
For those that have died a rattie death
For we will cuddle and groom them
And sleep in safety and warmth.
— Norway Viking Rat Prayer 900-1000 CE
Peanut (top) and Michigan cuddling, March 2020

Peanut (top) and Michigan cuddling, March 2020

Peanut passed from an abrupt decline and then stroke one week after the death of his brother Michigan. I saw this happen with Boo and Salad, and before that with Ornstein and BeepBeep. It’s a shame they grieve so terribly, but it’s only because of their great capacity for love. I’ll miss you Peanut.

Patient perspective. RIP Michigan May 5 2018-May 4 2020

To my healthcare/vet care workers and allied healthcare friends and family: I know it's a rough time, but when you're tired and frustrated, try not to forget your patients and their families are still scared and it's still your duty to be stronger than they are. The last few weeks I've sat in the parking lot of animal and human clinics and watched fellow patients and families sitting and crying in their cars while they waited for their turn or news. I've sat in my car and cried too. Yesterday I had a tech yelling at me because she said it wasn't fair she was overworked and needed a break when I brought Michigan in to be euthanized... and then she curtly demanded my credit card information. And in the last weeks I've called my own doctors and had front desk or billing people (usually already frustrating to deal with) extra frustrated about billing for phone calls and their work overload.

I remember once being on call as an ophthalmology resident and being 8 months pregnant and having taken a fall and having had to go get an emergency ultrasound, and when I got back to the ER there was an angry father there pacing around who'd been waiting 20 minutes with a kid who'd had headaches for a month (?) (It was migraine). I was grouchy and sick and I took care of her but the father complained to my chief that I wasn't sufficiently nice to them. And although he was so scary the nurses wanted to call security, he was right. I couldn't let my own crap show through while I took care of his daughter even if the he was awful and the circumstances were awful and I was exhausted... because she was scared and it was my job to let her lean on me. I think about her a lot, even all these years later.

I know right now folks are calling the med teams "heroes" but don't let it go to your head. You are doing what you've always done, putting aside your own misery and safety to take care of other people. A year from now they'll all forget what you sacrificed but you'll still be there; you won't get credit for having worked long hours or taking over sick co-worker responsibilities...

What they will remember is whether you were kind to them when they were frightened or angry, or what you said when you told them their loved one had passed, or how you comforted them when they were suffering.

Those little moments are what the job really is; don't let them slide.

Rest in Peace, Michigan. You were the sweetest of your brothers. Peanut misses you and your brothers Petey, Tiktok and Willis today, on what is your second birthday, May 5.



Rest in Peace Michigan May 5 2018 - May 4 2020 He was a good boy