Because Ohio

  Last known photo out my dashboard.  (Cortana, protect us!)

Last known photo out my dashboard.  (Cortana, protect us!)

I couldn't make it to Pittsburgh as I'm just too sick and exhausted.I'm going to hang out here at the well-lit Towpath service plaza on the Ohio Turnpike for a while and maybe catch a nap. This seems like a bad idea; the kind of thing my mother would warn me about being murdered by drifters.  I called a few nearby motels with no luck.  I'm stuck here at least a few hours until I'm awake enough to drive and not vomit.  If I go missing I blame Ohio.  Lauren can have my signed-by-Ben Farscape peacekeeper rifle. Linda C. gets my Byzantine necklace.  Georges gets my Buffy Scythe (and Gambit pages). Tony gets all my money, savings and other stuff in the deposit boxes and first dibs on all my other stuff provided he takes care of my pets the way I would until they die of natural causes.... Mwahahaha!  Vivi gets my musical instruments and music books so she can start a band in high school.  Lilly gets my drawing/painting/ceramics and other craft stuff and glass animals.  I don't know what all the three year olds would want of mine... maybe my vast Barbie collection?  Hmm... Weirdly I always think of my hobbies as pretty childish... Maybe not so childish three year olds would want that stuff.  Meh.

Anyway, I expect my other nerdy friends will have to divvy up my nerdy action figures and collectibles via armed combat (totally reasonable) and the rest of my possessions should be sold off on eBay and the money used to hire lawyers to file a class action lawsuit against Dr Oz (obviously).  It's what I would have wanted.

My remains (if any) should be set adrift Viking-style into Lake Michigan in a fiery boat (along with my Xena sword, Heinlein books and high school diaries and Star Wars fan fiction I wrote at age 13 that I still have for some reason and should definitely not ever be read by anyone).  Oakton can have all my Pharm teaching materials (Tony can get at them on my Google Drive).  I think that covers all the important stuff.  I'm also sure a blog written at 3am on an iPhone is totally legally binding.  Yay murder by drifters in windowless vans!! πŸ˜ŠπŸš—πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸ˜¬ 

UPDATE: It was too scary at the rest stop so I texted my sister I was tired and would just power thru and then Siri messaged me to put down the iPhone and take a nap. (?!)  Not wanting to anger the Apple Overlord A.I., I just kept taking breaks and drinking caffeine.  I eventually got to my sister's house, turned off the engine and instantly fell asleep in my car for two hours. ...In front of my sister's house... for two hours.  Asleep at the wheel (probably drooling) like that YouTuber who lives in her car to save college money...

Some days I think my life would make a great sitcom.

 Today's Norwegian Vocabulary Word: samling
  Pronounced: (sohm-ling).
   (Translation: collection)
 Exercise: Use "samling" in a sentence:
 Example: Jeg har en actionfigurssamling.
   (I have an action figure collection.)

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